DOs & DON'Ts of Being Dumped, Part 2

It’s inevitable. People leave. Whether they move, get mad, get dead or otherwise decide that the worship team is no longer for them, people eventually exit. Handling this well isn’t always easy. Here are some DOs and DON’Ts for when people leave. Let’s pick back up with #4. If you haven’t read the first three, they’re here.

FOUR
DON’T guilt. Is he really leaving the team at the worst possible time? I doubt it. But even if he is, laying on the guilt won’t help—you or him. 

DO grace. Acknowledge and thank him for his contribution. If he is leaving the team in a less-than-stellar manner, take the high road.

FIVE
[Read the rest at WorshipMinistry.com...]

They Need Me, They Really Need Me...

They need me every hour, most gracious Lord
To lose talent like mine, the team can't afford

They need me, O they need me
Every service they need me
I'll bless them with my presence
Until eternity

I think this bastardized hymn sings in the brain of every worship leader - full-time, part-time, volunteer - it doesn't matter.

I tweeted on Saturday: A first - not scheduled to play or lead worship this Sunday. Not sure I remember how to sit still in church...

I had taken two weeks off and decided to schedule myself off at both campuses for the third Sunday as well. I was returning late in the week and didn't want to have to rush back to leading. I figured I'd just jump on electric guitar at our Lex campus. But then this still small voice cut through my inner song of self-delusion: they don't need you.

Sure they do.

No. They don't.

But I'm just going to play electric guitar. I'm not taking over or anything.

Electric guitar would be nice. But do you really think you need to be there?

Aw, crud.

Too often worship leaders, especially us "professionals," only give up leadership when we're on vacation. It's a disorder called LIDs. "Leadership Insecurity Disorder" makes us think we're indispensable. Don't get me wrong, working towards indispensability should be the goal. But am I indispensable because I work to make the team better, stronger and deeper (musically, relationally and spiritually)? Or because I'm the only one who can quarterback? And don't make me mad, because I'll just leave and take the ball with me.

So figure out a way to take a week off without being gone. The perspective from the pew will recalibrate your leadership.

By the way, the team did great without me. And while not leading or playing guitar in a worship service was a little weird, I think I could get used to it. Once a month. Maybe. (I might not be entirely sanctified in this area yet...)

###
What would it take for you to NOT lead/play on in your situation?

What has been your experience when you have delegated leadership?

Leave comments here, or tweet them to me @jonnicol.

How To Dump Your Worship Pastor

Six Options for Quitting the Worship Team
the new WorshipMinistry.com article...

How to break up with your worship pastor/leader:

1. Stop showing up. I’ll eventually get the hint. And let all my phone calls go to voice-mail and emails go unanswered. The longer we delay the follow-up conversation, the less awkward it will be. I promise.

2. Ask a friend on the team to let me know that you won’t be playing/singing anymore. I enjoy this one. It gives me that 7th grade feeling all over again – like when I got a Dear John note from my first girlfriend, delivered by her friend to my friend.

[Read all six]

Linchpin or Liability?

When it comes to the worship ministry at your church, are you a linchpin or a liability?

A linchpin is indispensable. Wait, I know. The right answer that’s been drilled in our heads, especially in the church, is this: no one’s indispensible. OK, so the earth might not break its orbit of the sun if you quit the worship team. But would there be a gaping hole and would you be missed for a long, long time? If the answer is yes, then you’re a linchpin. And don’t forget that there are two parts to that question. We’ve all seen people depart who leave a big hole, but weren’t particularly missed.

A linchpin not only does the work, but does it in a way that we want to be around them. To use a quote from a Jack Nicholson movie (that ranks only slightly lower than, “You can’t handle the truth!”), linchpins make us “want to be a better man.” Or woman. If that’s your gender.

On the other side of the spectrum there’s the liability. And a liability is someone who brings the team down either musically or emotionally/spiritually. Unless your team is inordinately dysfunctional, rarely do we have a member who’s both a lousy musician and has a terrible attitude. We often get a not-so-great musician because “he’s such a great person.” His heart outweighs his talents. And, depending on where we’re at in our growth as a team, we’re willing to work with that.

The person who is most often a bona fide liability is the one with the attitude. It might be arrogance. Entitlement. Negativity. Harshness. Whatever it is, talent can only trump toxic for so long.

The problem with the original question, “Are you a linchpin or a liability?” is that a person rarely recognizes himself as such. Most people aren’t intentionally toxic. It’s the default they arrive at after being hurt/wounded/disappointed one too many times.

The linchpin, on the other hand, is intentional. If I’m not intentionally trying to create great art within my team, and if I’m not purposely building others up, then I’m probably not a linchpin.

In truth, I’ve been both. And somewhere in the middle. And that’s where most of us are--sitting somewhere on a long line between indispensible and intolerable.

So forget the original question. Here’s a new one: which way are you moving?




*Want to learn more about being  indispensible, buy Seth’s Godin’s book, Linchpin. (affiliate link)

Please Practice: 8 Tips to Give Your Team

Of all the players that I've had in worship teams, the ones that practiced the most came out of the bar band scene. If any of them came to rehearsals unprepared, they apologized before they even pulled out their guitar. The players with church backgrounds, yeah…not so much. Why is this? That’s fodder for a whole new article series. But let’s give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that they’ve never received guidance on this subject. Here are some practice tips for your team:

Before rehearsal:

• Listen to each song while following the chart. Even if you know the song well, a repeated listening-through will reveal things you missed and further solidify the song in your head.
• Listen to the song again, playing along with it (here’s where the correct key & pitch-shifted recordings comes in handy).
• Do an initial play-through. Without the recording, play the song completely through one time. If any part causes you to stumble, mark it with a pencil and move on.
• Work on bumps. Once you’ve played through and marked the trouble stops, go back and run those spots till you have them down.
• Listen again (and again). Instead of just turning on your car or office radio, put the songs in a playlist on your iPod, mp3 player or computer and listen to it passively throughout the week. The songs will sink in more than you know. On the way to rehearsal, listen to the songs again, thinking about your part.

Between rehearsal and Sunday:

• Work the problem areas. Mark the spots that gave you trouble during rehearsal. Run those until the hiccups go away.
• Focus heavily on any parts that are yours to lead or carry, such as a solo or segues.
• Listen again (and again). Did I mention this one already.

Got anymore tips? Love to hear them. Throw them in the comments or tweet them to me @jonnicol.

Fire Your Worship Committee

Like, now.

If there's no one that can, or really wants to take leadership in the area of worship, we appoint a committee.

If there is someone in charge, but we don't quite trust him or her to lead, we assist them by appointing a committee.

We might call it an "advisory panel" or a "planning team", but it's just a turd-polished committee.

OK, I'm sounding a little harsh. Committees are usually well-intentioned. Most of the people appointed to those teams care deeply about the focus of the committee (or they just can't say no).

But committees give people power with no responsibility.

Committees give permission to point at problems with out searching for a solution.

Committees generate activity instead of creating action.

And who's holding who accountable?

So what's the alternative to a worship committee when we don't have a worship leader or pastor? 

1. First, look to the CLW of your church.
The CLW - Chief Lead Worshiper is your senior pastor. His vision and goals will include the corporate worship of the church. (If it doesn't, you have bigger problems than lack of a song leader.) He may not be musical, but leadership for corporate worship starts with him.

2. Create a system for co-leadership.
If there is no 'one person' to head up the worship ministry, create a system that allows for multiple leaders without forming a committee.

• Each person is delegated authority and leadership, with a clear job description and accountability structure.
• A person is chosen for position because it fits with their gifting and skills.
• I've detailed a model for co-leadership in a free ebook, Try [Tri] Leadership on my resource page.

3. Set your leaders loose. 
These leaders form a team. But they're a true team, not a committee. There's a quarterback, running back and the left guard. Don't take the football metaphor too far - just know that these people will get knocked down. The coach (the Chief Lead Worshiper) is there to pick them up, pull the sod off their face mask, pat them on the butt and send them back in with the next play.

And, coach, don't take the butt-pat literally - that's grounds for dismissal.

LIDs

Every new adjustment is a crisis in self-esteem. ~Eric Hoffer

I had the privilege this Sunday to introduce a new worship leader to our congregation. We didn't hire him. Nor did he transfer from another church. He's been here for a while--I just dusted him off and gave him a chance. He's a much better singer than I am. And with his confident yet easy-going stage-presence, I have no doubt that for many in our church he will become a their favorite worship leader.


And I'm stoked about that.

A few years ago it's was easy for me to talk about leadership development. But when faced with it, I found reasons (read: excuses) not to move people beyond a supporting role. I had LIDs. Leadership Insecurity Disorder.* And it does exactly what it spells.

I first heard a worship pastors Nathan LaGrange & Erik Cooper from Lakeview Church (Indianapolis) use the term at a Seminar4Worship at in 2008.
 

After a self-diagnosis of LIDs (which the Holy Spirit likely had something to do with), I was determined develop leaders. Before I made much headway, the financial axe fell and my full-time position had to be eliminated for the church to survive. The worship ministry there hasn't digressed to where it was when I first started. But in a lot of ways, it's close.

While I raised the bar there, I didn't raise a sustainable future. It was my job to grow leaders. Instead I grew my stock--I built a solid musician team, taught new songs, led good worship gatherings. No one wanted to cut me. They liked me--I did a decent job and worked downright cheap. Just not cheap enough for the early days of a recession. God taught me a tough lesson about the real work of the worship pastor.

Christ-centered leadership is about pouring out and giving up. It's good and right to pour my life into developing others. But eventually I need to give up something so they can take the next step.

Step away from my mic so she can lead a verse. 

Watch from sound booth as he leads a rehearsal. 

Let them choose the music. 

I have to give up leadership more often than just when I go on vacation.

Here's the ugly side of LIDs: The more infected I am with it, the more I relish in their failure. Not in a "laughing fiendishly while rubbing my hands together" kind of way. More understated: "They need me. Now, they know that they need me." Sick, isn't it? But true.

I came across the Eric Hoffer quote around the time I was told by my senior pastor in my current ministry that the services went much better when I wasn't the upfront worship leader. That's not a good thing to hear when your job is to lead worship. Talk about a "crisis in self-esteem." But my pastor was right. God had me in a place where, for a number of reasons, I couldn't hold together the band with my guitar and lead the congregation at the same time. What worked in my last church wasn't working here. So couple that revelation with being the sole worship pastor in a multi-campus church and I needed to tear off my LID quick.

I still lead a couple times a month at one campus, but now there are people at the other campus who probably wonder if all I do is play guitar and occasionally nod my head to stop the band. But I'm in a place where the pouring out and giving up gets me excited.

Did I tell you I just introduced a new worship leader at my church on Sunday?

And I'm stoked about that.