LIDs

Every new adjustment is a crisis in self-esteem. ~Eric Hoffer

I had the privilege this Sunday to introduce a new worship leader to our congregation. We didn't hire him. Nor did he transfer from another church. He's been here for a while--I just dusted him off and gave him a chance. He's a much better singer than I am. And with his confident yet easy-going stage-presence, I have no doubt that for many in our church he will become a their favorite worship leader.


And I'm stoked about that.

A few years ago it's was easy for me to talk about leadership development. But when faced with it, I found reasons (read: excuses) not to move people beyond a supporting role. I had LIDs. Leadership Insecurity Disorder.* And it does exactly what it spells.

I first heard a worship pastors Nathan LaGrange & Erik Cooper from Lakeview Church (Indianapolis) use the term at a Seminar4Worship at in 2008.
 

After a self-diagnosis of LIDs (which the Holy Spirit likely had something to do with), I was determined develop leaders. Before I made much headway, the financial axe fell and my full-time position had to be eliminated for the church to survive. The worship ministry there hasn't digressed to where it was when I first started. But in a lot of ways, it's close.

While I raised the bar there, I didn't raise a sustainable future. It was my job to grow leaders. Instead I grew my stock--I built a solid musician team, taught new songs, led good worship gatherings. No one wanted to cut me. They liked me--I did a decent job and worked downright cheap. Just not cheap enough for the early days of a recession. God taught me a tough lesson about the real work of the worship pastor.

Christ-centered leadership is about pouring out and giving up. It's good and right to pour my life into developing others. But eventually I need to give up something so they can take the next step.

Step away from my mic so she can lead a verse. 

Watch from sound booth as he leads a rehearsal. 

Let them choose the music. 

I have to give up leadership more often than just when I go on vacation.

Here's the ugly side of LIDs: The more infected I am with it, the more I relish in their failure. Not in a "laughing fiendishly while rubbing my hands together" kind of way. More understated: "They need me. Now, they know that they need me." Sick, isn't it? But true.

I came across the Eric Hoffer quote around the time I was told by my senior pastor in my current ministry that the services went much better when I wasn't the upfront worship leader. That's not a good thing to hear when your job is to lead worship. Talk about a "crisis in self-esteem." But my pastor was right. God had me in a place where, for a number of reasons, I couldn't hold together the band with my guitar and lead the congregation at the same time. What worked in my last church wasn't working here. So couple that revelation with being the sole worship pastor in a multi-campus church and I needed to tear off my LID quick.

I still lead a couple times a month at one campus, but now there are people at the other campus who probably wonder if all I do is play guitar and occasionally nod my head to stop the band. But I'm in a place where the pouring out and giving up gets me excited.

Did I tell you I just introduced a new worship leader at my church on Sunday?

And I'm stoked about that.