Blog Reboot: Kind vs. Nice

Here's a post from a few years ago. Something we all need to be reminded of... 

There were two musicians that I worked with in a previous ministry. Because they're both still participating in the ministry, let's call one Pete and the other Paul, and for further anonymity, let's say they both played "instrument x."

Pete is a long-time member of this team (i.e. I inherited him). He's extremely talented on his instrument--and, for awhile, he was the only one that played "instrument x." Pete's a great guy and has a sincere desire to serve on the team. However, he kept the kind of schedule between work and family that would exhaust a Fortune 500 CEO. As a result, he often did not attend rehearsals and more than once called at the last minute to cancel on a Sunday morning.

Paul was a newcomer to our church and a welcome addition to the team: he was a multi-instrumentalist (don't you love having those guys!). He filled in on other instruments for a few months before playing "instrument x." The first rehearsal with him on "instrument x" was rough. His timing and feel were off, and I wondered if I made a mistake letting him play in this position.

I loved both guys (still do) and didn't want to risk either of them leaving the team. But both of these situations warranted some critical input. Looking back, I made two different choices: I chose to protect the feelings of one and speak truth to the other. I chose to "like" one (and really, to have him like me), and to show love to the other, and risked him not liking me.

I chose to be "nice" to one and "kind" to the other. [Read more]