emotional energy (i.e. actually caring)

I had two restaurant experiences lately.

One was at a pizza chain with my wife and kids. My kids are, well, kids. Our server was, well, not there. I waited tables in college, and even had a short stint in my 30s, so I have a tremendous amount of sympathy, empathy, and forbearance for servers. I try to tip 20% even if the service is so-so.

Here's the run-down of that experience: He took forever to greet us. Took forever to get our drinks. Brought the kids (and I have pre-schoolers) drinks in very large glass cups. Didn't get our bread sticks till 30 seconds before the pizza came. When (surprise!) my son spilled his drink, we had no assistance cleaning it up. Didn't refill the drinks (until asked). And I could go on.

Honestly, I've been there as a server: preoccupied; dominated by the high-maintenance party in the corner; just plain "off."

A few weeks later, my wife I were at Cheddar's. I couldn't decide between two items: Philly cheesesteak or fish tacos. (I know, my wife thinks I'm warped, too.) So I asked the server what she thought. To my surprise, she asked me about me: "How hungry are you?" She got my answer and spent a moment describing that, while delicious, the fish tacos may not fill me up. They were both roughly the same price. She didn't have anything to gain in numbers by pushing one over the other. (btw - I went for the Philly...)

You might think this was the start to a stellar service experience. In truth, our drinks didn't get refilled and it took awhile to get the check. But those things weren't as big an issue. Partly because we didn't have crazy kids climbing all over us. But most significantly, she took time to connect. She put some emotional energy into serving us.

During worship services, can the congregation overlook when things aren't stellar?

Do they feel like we are spending emotional energy to connect with them, to serve them, and to ultimately help them to worship Jesus.

Or are they seeing people "fright-reading" with their faces in the music stands. Or maybe it's the other end: a team completely absorbed in their own music and "moments" that they can't bring others along.

Check, please.