Is Your Left Door Locked?

I grew up attending in a typical Mid-west, small-town, L-shaped C&MA church. At least I think it was typical of those kinds of churches in those days. Mostly hymns. A few “Alliance-approved” praise choruses worthy enough to sing in “real church” – you know, like Majesty and most anything from the Gaithers. There was also one thing that I’m not sure was typical, but I have experienced in other churches from time to time: the left door was always locked.

For some reason, the leadership of the church deemed it prudent not to unlock one of the double doors of the main entrance. Always the left side.

Looking back, it was normal. But now I’m wondering--why? I mean, was the trustee who unlocked it on Sunday mornings lazy? Trustees in those days were never lazy. They are chosen because they could work 60 hours at their job and then render unto the Lord nine uncomplaining hours at a “church workday” every other Saturday. God bless them…

Maybe the church had a 70-year plan after they built it in 1965. “Let’s use the right one until the year 2000. Jesus will have surely come back by then– I mean, look at this world! But if he hasn’t, we’ll start using the left one.” I haven’t been back there much since the turn of the century. But I think they forgot their plan.

Maybe it’s theological. You know - goats on the left, sheep on the right.

Whatever the reason, it worked for us: we who were the chosen knew the “left/right” door code. We came and went unhindered. Visitors, on the other hand, were always easy to spot (especially the left-handed ones). And the most fun had to be when the uninitiated - by chance or providence - opened the right door on the way in, but then tried to exit by the left. Those silly goats…

So what’s the locked left door in your church?

Maybe where the bathrooms are. Or that anyone who knows better will NEVER use the women’s bathroom in the old section.

Or maybe it’s the sitting and standing routine in worship.

Or how we celebrate communion: “Did you see that?! He just ate the bread without waiting.”

Ah, those silly goats…

(And the question wasn't rhetorical - I really would like to hear what your "left door" might be, and how you are/have fixing/fixed it. Drop me a comment...)
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